Baseball and marriage

Baseball is a game and normally the failures of its players are not tragic.  In fact, they can be comical.  Errors, mishaps, bloopers, and bonehead plays have an enduring charm of their own. 

Marv Throneberry symbolized the futility of one of the worst teams in the history of baseball—the 1962 New York Mets—losers of a record 120 games.  In a game against the Chicago Cubs, Marvelous Marv steamed into third base with what he thought was a triple.  Ernie Banks took a relay throw and stepped on first base. The umpire declared Throneberry out because he did not touch first base.  When manager Casey Stengel came out to protest the call, the umpire pointed out that Marv had also failed to touch second base.  Throneberry might as well have stayed home.

Baseball, like life, demands order - first base–second base–then third base.  The game does not abide disorder.  A runner cannot proceed from the batter’s box directly to third base.  In committing a violation of the rules, the runner is called “out”.  Baseball cannot remain an intelligible game unless it prohibits such disordered base running.  Its rules are its lifeblood.

So, it is with marriage.  A successful marriage demands that certain rules must be followed.  Jesus tells us to love one another as he has loved us.  So, the rules of marriage are based upon the love that Jesus has for us.  Jesus’ love for us is free, total, faithful, fruitful, and forever.  The love of husband and wife is also meant to be free, total, fruitful, faithful, and forever.  I’d like to give you examples of love which fits each of these five key characteristics.

Love is free.  We see an example of that freedom in the love of Andrew and Liz this morning.  Clearly each of them freely decided to get married.  They went together for several years before they were engaged and have been engaged for about a year before getting married.  Andrew even carried the engagement ring around in his pocket for about a month before he found the perfect time and place to give it to Liz.  The first reading says: “My lover belongs to me and I to him.”  This belonging is given freely.  One spouse doesn’t possess the other one. Instead each freely gives themselves to the other.

Love is faithful.  Carlene and Gene used to live across the street from here. I didn’t get to know them until their children were grown.  But, I understand that they had some difficult times when their children were growing up.  When I began presiding at the Friday morning communion service several years’ ago, Gene would come up to communion and would ask for a host for Carlene.  Gene visited Carlene each day at the nursing home and took communion to her.  Even after she became so sick that she no longer could receive communion, Gene still visited Carlene each day until her death about a year ago.  Gene’s love for Carlene was truly faithful.  It was a great example of faithful married love to all of their children, their grandchildren, and all of us.  Gene’s love was tested by Carlene’s lengthy illness.  Gene was faithful to the end.

Love is fruitful.  Each Sunday as I look at the congregation from here on the altar, I see many mothers and fathers with their young children.  As I see them patiently caring for their children, it is the perfect example of fruitful love.  Once, several years’ ago, Emily was sitting in the second pew with her young daughter.  At the beginning of Father Rob’s homily, her daughter began to make noise and she took her out.  Later in the homily, her daughter had quieted down and Emily came back in with her.  But, she had no sooner returned to the pew than her daughter began to make noise again.  So, even before Father Rob finished the homily, Emily had to go out again.  For me, Emily is an example of the fruitful and patient love of a mother.

Love is forever.  Kathleen and I have been married almost forty five years.  When we were married, Kathleen gave me a rosary on which was inscribed the word “Forever” and the date July 6, 1968.  Kathleen clearly understood that marriage is forever.   In 1982, Kathleen and I attended a marriage encounter weekend.  At the time, Kathleen was pregnant with our fifth child, Ann.  On that weekend, one couple gave a talk about their relationship with God.  They said that a strong marriage is like a tripod with three legs: the husband, the wife and God.  For a marriage to last forever, strong communication between all three, husband, wife and God, is needed.  Kathleen and I commented that we communicated pretty well with each other but had little communication with God except for mass on Sunday.  We each resolved to improve our communication with God.  Over the years, each of us has improved our prayer life and our marriage has grown stronger.  We pray that Andrew and Liz, during the difficult times, will lean on God and His grace, so that their marriage will last forever.

Love is total.  Christ’s love for us is the perfect example of total love.  He loved us so much that he willingly gave his life for us on the cross.  Jesus’ crucifixion and death is depicted in the beautiful stations that we see around this church.  It is not likely that any of us will be tested to the extent that Christ was.  But, eventually each of us will find our love tested.  Suffering and sacrifice is the true test of love.  John’s Gospel tells us:  “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. “  Sometimes love hurts.  Total love involves suffering.

As I was preparing to write this homily, I asked Andrew and Liz a few questions to give me a sense of their love for each other.  One question I asked was: What quality of your fiancée made you fall in love with him or her?  Andrew responded that Liz’s unconditional love made him fall in love with her.  Wow!   What a great quality!  We’re all looking for that unconditional love.  Andrew and Liz, we pray that you will still see that unconditional love in each other, a love which is free, total, faithful, fruitful, and forever, as you celebrate your twentieth, thirtieth, fortieth, and even fiftieth wedding anniversaries.  We pray for all married couples here today as we joyfully witness the marriage of Andrew and Liz.  We pray that all married couples can hit a home run and lead each other to the heavenly marriage feast and, to the eternal, unconditional love of the Father.  God bless.